Emma: 3 Months

It is crazy to see how much Emma is changing from month to month. In just a short month, she has learned so much and has blossomed with such a fun, loving personality.

Like I said, Emma is learning so much and really noticing things. In the last week, she has learned what her legs are and gets so excited kicking them to the ground. Her play mat keeps her occupied for a long time as she watches the mobile above her spin and play music. This is extremely helpful when we get home for the day and I need to clean all my pumping supplies and get dinner started. Ceiling fans, tvs, pillows with patterns and certain objects on the walls just fascinate her. She also could just stare at herself in the mirror forever (oh boy!). 

Emma is doing awesome with my mom and at Victoria's. Both of them say how great she is with them and so smiley, talkative and just an "angel". They also both agree that naps are on her terms, when she wants them and how long. She is so unpredictable with her naps. She could have a three hour nap with a couple short thirty minute naps one day and the next, short cat naps all day. She is eating four ounces every three hours with them, but seems to still be hungry sometimes after. I've decided to start trying four and a half ounces for her and we will see how she does. The kids at Victoria's just love her and just lay on the floor with her talking and laughing with her while she just eats it up. 

Photoshoot with grandma at 12 weeks

Other notable things we experienced: Watched many (terrible) Cyclone football games. Attended her first Cyclone volleyball game. Had a visit from great grandma Pinky. Loves her baths now. We survived our first weekend with Matt traveling for work. She had her first visit to a pumpkin patch. 

Cheesin' it up for great grandma Pinky

Another photoshoot with grandma

 Can't wait to see all the memories next month will bring!

{Grow with Me} - 3 Months

Emma had her first of her "grow with me" sessions with Destri of D&Orfs Photography here in Ames today. Destri has a great and super reasonable package where you get a 30 minute mini session at three, six and nine months with a full hour session for your birthday.

Our little girl was quite the stinker today for her pictures. While she is usually cheesin' it up for people, that wasn't the case for these pictures. That is, until my mom came back from running a quick errand. The moment my mom started talking to Emma, she was grinning from ear to ear. You can clearly tell which pictures those are!

Life (via Instagram) Lately

 1. Matt and I did some errands and went to dinner a couple weeks back and we brought Emma along until my mom could meet us and take her for the night. She was clearly thrilled about spending a lot of money on some suits for daddy.

2. We enjoyed brunch with my grandma and my mom at The Cafe (my favorite).

3. Emma has found the tv and is quite intrigued by it. So yes, we are those parents that set their kid in front of the tv to quiet them when fussy. Peace at any cost! Especially if we get to eat dinner uninterrupted.

4. Matt ordered a South Carolina Gamecocks (his alma mater) onesie off of Etsy before Emma was born for her to wear on football game days. Gamecocks beat Kentucky and now Matt says she needs to wear it every time they play.

5. We finally got out the play mat for Emma and she loves it.

6. Target has clearanced all their summer clothes and that means that Emma got some swim gear for our trip to Hawaii in December. $2.68 each! 

7. Those eyelashes speak for themselves.

8. Her three month pants are finally starting to fit around the stomach, so she got to wear her first pair of jeggings. 

9. Matt and I love coming home to her from work and playing on the floor with her. She is so talkative and smiley. Best part of our day. 

10. Milk drunk. Passed out after her last feeding of the night.

11. Cheering on aunt Alaina at her volleyball game. Can't get over her cuteness! My mom made the onesie and tutu especially for Alaina's games. 

You Know You Are a Mom When....

.....pillow talk with your husband is about your child's poop.

.....your arm muscles hurt not from going to the gym, but from holding your child all day or lugging a carseat around everywhere.

.....you are lucky to have eaten anything by lunchtime.

.....a thirty minute catnap feels like a million bucks.

.....you can pick up about anything with your feet.

.....a date night out with your husband ends by 8:00 because you would rather get home and get some much needed sleep.

.....your recent Google searches are all baby related questions that start with "is it normal for.....".

.....you never get to drink your cup of coffee hot.

.....shopping for new clothes for yourself ends up with nothing bought for you, but new outfits for your child that will only be worn a couple times.

.....your me time is a shower that lets you wash your hair, rinse, shave and maybe stand there for just two minutes. Then hoping that when it is over, you don't hear a screaming baby and stressed out dad.

Daycare

Emma is so lucky to have such a selfless, loving grandma that has offered to give up everything she is doing to watch her while I go back to work. I remember when I was younger my mom always joked around that she would watch her grandkids instead of sending them to daycare. I always thought she was joking until we told her we were pregnant. Ever since that day, my mom has insisted on watching Emma during the week. She has been ready for this since before I was pregnant. No, seriously. She's had the pack n' play, swing, bouncy seat and everything for over a year. I am excited that Emma will be with my mom and get to experience that bond with her. I can only imagine all the things my mom will teach her, the crafts made, pictures taken and memories to be had. People have asked me if I am concerned if having my mom watch her will effect our relationship at all and I can honestly say I am not worried at all. My mom and I have such a great relationship and have always been open in communication. She has made it clear that she will go by our "rules" and schedule with her (with spoiling her here and there) and knows the importance of doing so for when Emma is with us and Victoria. We will be learning more of Emma's schedule and likes/dislikes from my mom I am sure.

While my mom offered to do the whole week, we insisted she get a break and that the other day we would take Emma to an in-home daycare. So the other day (Thursdays), Emma will be going to Victoria's. I am relieved we found someone that would take a part-time kid and a baby at that. It was quite stressful trying to find someone (resulted in tears) as everyone only takes full-time kids or I couldn't imagine leaving her with them. We are lucky to have Victoria recommended to us by my co-worker who sends his kids to her. Victoria is so sweet and I know Emma will thrive being there around other little kids. Another bonus with Victoria is that her mom lives with her family and is there as another "grandma" figure and helping hands.

We will see how the coming weeks and months go as it will be an adjustment for all of us, especially Emma. 

I'm Gonna Miss This

"You're gonna miss this

You're gonna want this back

You're gonna wish these days hadn't gone by so fast

These are some good times

So take a good look around

You may not know it now

But you're gonna miss this"

On Monday, I ease back into the grind of my job by starting back part-time. No doubt about it, I have missed the adult conversations during the day and my awesome co-workers. I am ashamed to say that at one point I said I was ready to go back. Now, work is the last place I want to go. 

As I sit here and write this with tears streaming down my face thinking about the above lyrics, the only place I want to be is home with my baby girl. I've spent every waking moment with her since the moment she came into this world. I've been away from her for a max of five hour stretches here and there. Now I'll be away from her for over 45 hours a week. That is 45 hours worth of cuddles, smiles, cooing, crying, feedings, swaying her to sleep. 45 hours of missed bonding. 

Don't get me wrong, maternity leave certainly wasn't the most relaxing break from work I have had, but after getting into the groove of things with Emma, I started to enjoy it. Maternity leave was definitely challenging and the last ten weeks have been the hardest, yet most rewarding days of my life. I remember breaking down to Matt shortly after she was born (gotta love hormones) saying I didn't know it was going to be this hard. The crying and screaming, stomach issues, lack of sleep for Matt and I, her witching hour and fighting sleep, breastfeeding and the million and one other hard things that came along when she was born. But all those hard moments have or will pass and those amazingly, good moments have so been worth it all. Every smile this sweet girl gives me makes me know that everything is okay. The love I have for my daughter is like nothing I could ever truly describe. My heart is so full it could explode. 

This week I have held her longer, snuggled her tighter and kissed her an extra thousand times. I cherished and took in every smile and coo. I inhaled her smell (smelly or not) and tickled her little thighs. 

I hope I can do this.

I know I can do this. But it won’t be easy.

(I had every intention of writing my top moments with Emma over the last 10 weeks, but am way too emotional and will have to save that for another post)